Drilovsky Family Vacation
by Scalene Waffles
Summary: Collab with Basketballer43. 2 adults. 7 kids. 17 hours in a car. 5 days at the beach. What could possibly go wrong?
1. Breakfast before we Hit the Road

**A collab next-gen fanfic Basketballer43 and i came up with.**

 **Surprisingly, the dialouge is not in Italic.**

 **Hope you enjoy reading it as much as we enjoyed writing it : )**

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 **Chapter 1: Breakfast before we Hit the Road**

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The minute- no. The second Scarlet Drilovksy smelled one of the best smells known to man, she was out of bed in an instant, running out of her room and towards the staircase. In the process, her sister Ginger was on her heels, running out of the room behind her, "BACON?!"

"It's mine!" Scarlet exclaimed, pushing her younger sister back. Just as the made it to the staircase, their brother pushed past both of them nearly toppling down the stairs,

"I smelled it first!" He yelled out as he passed them,

"Not unless I get to it first!" Ginger cried out, shoving past her older sister and coming close to catching her brother.

At the sound of the argument above, Fanny and Patton Drilovsky looked down from the stairs to each other and smirked, "Works every time", Fanny commented.

Suddenly into the kitchen raced in the 3 teenagers.

The first one was Scarlet, with shoulder-length curled black hair, still wearing a pair of green shirt and matching pajama pants.

The second was her younger sister Ginger, who had auburn straight hair, which was now sticking wildly around all over the place, except around a light blue nightcap that was resting on her head, somehow staying on during the run.

The final youngest teen was a boy, their younger brother, who looked exactly like a younger Patton, wearing a white shirt and black and red plaid pajama pants.

The three teens looked over at the stove for the anticipated bacon, but found that it had just started cooking, and slouched in disappointment.

"They tricked us into waking up again, didn't they?" Ginger was the first to speak.

"Aw man", their brother said in disdain.

"If there's bacon was it really a trick?" Fanny asked, leaning against the counter,

"Uh, Yeah," Scarlet answered, stretching her arms, "I could still be in bed,"

"It gets us everytime! I'm protesting bacon!" The boy started to head back upstairs to sleep until Fanny pulled some bacon out of the pan and onto a plate. "Right after I eat this."

The boy then ran past his sisters to the table, and started to inhale bacon like it was his first meal in decades.

"I get the feeling this protest isn't gonna last long," The redhead said to him as she managed to take two pieces for herself.

"Yes it will," PJ argued back through a mouthful of bacon.

"Yeah, whatever you say," Scarlet rolled her eyes, stealthily grabbing a few pieces of bacon of her own.

As they were eating, a younger boy around twelve-years-old, who also had black hair but on his face had very prominent freckles, wearing blue striped pajamas, appeared. He started to walk over to the table, trying to take some bacon, but his older brother had already devoured most of it. Upon realizing this, he snuck up behind his older sister and tried to swipe a piece of her bacon, only to be punched in the arm, "Hey!" He exclaimed, rubbing his arm,

"Serves you right, trying to sneak away my bacon!" Ginger answered, taking a another bite.

"But I need it more than you. I'm younger than you" He answered.

"Meaning you have more time to wait on it," Ginger said,

"I guess you're right. I mean, you ARE pretty old", he retorted. He started laugh before Ginger suddenly trapped him in her arms, an enraged look on her face.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?" She shouted, making his laugh quickly fade away before hesitantly answering,

"... Old,"

"Oh that's it!" And then, without much effort, she tackled her younger brother sending them to the floor. As the two fought, the older boy then took a piece of bacon off his sister's plate as his father rolled his eyes at his children wrestling on the floor,

"Nice to know the kids are awake," He snarked as his daughter rose up from the ground, leaving her brother lying there,

"Hey! Who took my bacon?" She asked, and quickly PJ took the bacon from his hand and threw it onto his father's plate,

"Dad did" He said, pointing to Patton, who looked over towards him as his daughter put her hands on her hips,

"Dad!"

"Are you kidding me?" Patton asked, looking towards his oldest son, who had an innocent smile on his face,

"You're SO immature, Dad,", Ginger said as she sat back down at the table.

"Yeah Dad, _SO_ immature," PJ mocked while Patton glared at him.

But before they could argue any further, there on the table was set another plateful of bacon. PJ was about to grab it before Fanny came over to stop him.

"PJ! No!"

"Aw, but mom. First come, first serve, remember?" He whined,

"Yes, but at least let your siblings get a minute to take some for themselves before you inhale it all", she told him as she set down on the table a large plate of waffles.

PJ sulked in his chair, looking longingly at the bacon as three more children came down the stairs.

The first one was a bright red headed girl wearing gray pajamas and a raccoon cap on top of her hat.

The second was a younger girl with brown hair, the only brunette in the family, who wore a purple nightgown.

The final one, and the youngest of them all, was a boy with wild ashy-black hair in blue footie pajamas, walking towards the table while putting on large coke-bottled glasses.

As the three youngest began to sit down for breakfast, they noticed one of their brothers, still curled up on the floor in pain.

"Elliott? Are you ok?" the brunette asked as she began to eat some bacon, despite PJ practically drooling over it.

"I've never been in so much pain!" Elliot shouted back while wincing.

"Aw, shut up," Ginger grumbled.

"You gonna get some bacon, Elliott?" PJ asked.

"I can't! I just said I'm in pain!" He shouted, rolling around over-dramatically.

"Aw well, more for me," PJ then resumed eating bacon again, as his brother paused his dramatic rolling to glare at his older brother,

"Thanks PJ," Elliott said sarcastically.

"Don't mention it", PJ cheerfully responded and began to gorge on a bunch of waffles.

"PJ, slow down," Fanny said, looking at the amount of food her eldest son was inhaling waffle upon waffle.

"Why?" He wondered, with a mouth full of food,

"Because if you get car sick, I'll make you clean it up yourself,"

"Relax mom," PJ said, bits of waffle and bacon flying out of his mouth as he talked, "If anything, you'll need to worry about Elliott getting carsick,"

"Hey!", the younger boy shouted as he finally started to get back up.

"Well it's true"

"Relax Ellie", Ginger began to reassure her younger brother, "Maybe we'll be at a stop or something when you do inevitably throw up. You know, like when we have to stop every hour and a half for Scarlet"

"Hey, Scarlet shouted. I can't help it if I have a weak bladder!"

"Yeah," Ginger agreed, "If anything, we'll stop even more frequent for Dad,"

"Hey," Patton exclaimed in offense "I can't help it either!"

"Either way, neither of you two are allowed to drink _anything_ for the first five hours," Fanny said before she sat down with her family next to her husband.

"But I need to drink, I'll get dehydrated and die!" Scarlet complained.

"Well at least then we won't have to stop for you anymore," PJ said to Scarlet, who glared at him in offense.

"Wow, thanks,"

"We'd still need to stop for dad though," the brunette girl chimed in.

"Maybe he'll die of dehydration too."

"If he dies, can I call shotgun?", the youngest redhead girl asked in excitement.

"NO!" Patton shouted, visibly offended. "I'm not gonna die!"

"Not yet," the girl added.

There was a small silent moment with the family, aside from the sounds of eating. Patton started to raise his cup of coffee to his lips before he remembered what Fanny said. He then started to turn to his wife, who had just started to eat salvaged bacon. "Uh, Fanny," Patton started to ask, "Can I still have coff-"

"No drinks whatsoever!" She shouted at him,

"...Yes dear," He said as he put the cup back down.

"Good," Fanny replied, biting down on her piece of bacon.

The youngest daughter and son, a 7 year old and a 5 year old respectively, sat down and simultaneously stabbed their forks into the last waffle on the plate.

"That's my waffle", the boy said to his older sister.

"No it's not. It's mine", she began to argue back. The two glared at each other, and since little, naive Duncan was so focused on glaring at his big sister, Kate, she took the opportunity to stealthily rip the waffle away from his fork and pulled it onto her plate.

"Hey! You cheated!", he said as she ate the waffle with a victorious smile.

"If it helps, Duncan, maybe know you have some time to take a bath before we're stuck in a car for a bazillion hours", Kate said, a smug smile on her face as she insulted her brother.

"Not funny Kate," Duncan growled back in irritation.

"Yeah, you're right. Your body odor isn't funny," She shot back, the smug smile still on her face,

"Oh don't you start with that!" He exclaimed, as the smug smile on his sister's face grew,

"Yeah. You might kill me with your toxic fumes," She shot back. Duncan's eye twitched as he exclaimed,

"That's it!" The boy reached over and pulled Kate onto the ground

"I see we got the youngest 2 on a bad day", Fanny commented to Patton.

As Kate and Duncan continued to fight, the youngest redhead was continuing to eat, watching the madness beside her, before she saw a fly buzzing around her raccoon cap.

"Cool, she said as the fly continued flying around. Look, a fly"

"A fly?, Elliott suddenly froze. "You mean...there's a BUG?!"

"Yeah, it's right there" PJ said and pointed to the fly, which had just landed on the table next to his plate.

"Aaaa!", Elliott screamed in fright and lept up in the air, landing in his father's arms, knocking over his food in the process.

"Not in so much pain anymore, huh son?", Patton said looking at his son, who was clinging onto him.

"Dad! There's a fly. Kill it!", Elliott shouted ignoring his father's snark.

"I can't kill it, I'm not fast enough," Patton said as he let go of Elliott.

"Trust me old man, we know," Ginger said. "Let a real stealth queen handle this," she then aimed her hand above the fly and forcefully smacked it down on the table, but she missed and just hit the table really hard as the fly flew to the other side of the table.

"Nice going, stealth queen," PJ sarcastically commented making his sister glare and snark back,

"Shut up PJ. I got this," She readied her hand again as she reached across the table and slammed it again. She then released it to find the fly still buzzing around, now leaving into the living room.

Ginger got out of her seat and followed the fly to the living room. The hunt had begun. As Ginger just kept hitting stuff, the fly still evading and buzzing around, the younger redhead followed her older sister, beginning to protest.

"Ginger no! It's just a fly!"

"You stay out of this, Morgan!", the remaining Drilovskys heard from the kitchen.

"Well at least now she'll be tired during the ride," Patton said, taking a bite of bacon,

"One less loud voice I have to listen to," Scarlet muttered which made PJ snap his head over,

"Yeah well she talks in her sleep so you'll still have to listen. Sorry sis, you're stuck with us and our loud voices forever," he said in almost sadistic glee before resuming eating as Scarlet groaned.

"Why couldn't I have just been an only child?" She whined, putting her head in her hands and leaning on the table,

' _I sometimes ask myself the same thing,"_ Fanny thought to herself as she heard Ginger shout from upstairs,

"COME BACK HERE YOU LITTLE-"

"Ginger no! The fly wasn't bothering you!", Morgan shouted trailing behind her sister.

"It doesn't matter if it wasn't bothering me!" she said "I'm the stealth queen! This is a matter of personal pride!"

"Well swallow your pride! Flies are very useful and they can't afford to-"

"Morgan shut up! What's a FLY ever done for me? I've almost got it-" there was a loud slam sound heard by the exclamation of, "DANGIT"

"Ginger, stop that!" Patton shouted to the ceiling. "You're gonna break something,"

"Don't worry Dad!" Ginger shouted below. "The only thing that's getting broken is this little insect" This statement was suddenly followed by the sound of something glass-like breaking, making Fanny and Patton widen their eyes.

"...And maybe this picture"

"Ginger! Stop that and get back down here now!"

Fanny yelled.

"Mom, I am simply trying to prove that I'm the best Drilovsky," Ginger said, beginning to head back downstairs, Morgan following behind her.

"Ha! Yeah right!", Elliott scoffed. "What makes you think you're the best?"

"Have you guys seen yourselves? This isn't really a hard victory," Ginger laughed,

"And what is THAT supposed to mean?" Patton said to his daughter. She continued to laugh,

"Well, no offense dad," Ginger began to tell him, "But you're a dork."

Patton stared at her in offensive astonishment. "I am NOT!" He argued back as he looked to his wife for backup.

"Well, Patton," She started to say, before he interrupted her,

"Fanny. I'm not a dork," He insisted. His wife winced and slowly nodded,

"You kind of are," Fanny said, reluctantly.

"Kind of?," PJ chimed in. "More like a lot!"

"PJ!" Patton exclaimed,

"It's true," He held up his hands defensively,

"Well, PJ, you're named after me," Patton began to retort. "Which technically means if I'm a dork, you are too."

"What? No it doesn't!" PJ exclaimed as the rest of his siblings started to laugh.

"Oh, but it does, son", Patton insisted as his other children continued laughing.

"B-But but but...MOM!", PJ began to protest and look to Fanny for help.

"No, PJ, just because you have your Dad's name, doesn't mean you have his personality," She assured her oldest son.

"Oh, thank goodness", PJ sighed in relief.

"Gee, thanks Fan," Patton deadpanned to his wife.

"No problem," she replied.

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Around an hour later, the Drilovskys had finished eating breakfast and changing clothes before getting their bags out to load up in the car. Fanny began walking to check up on her children, as the oldest began to walk out. All that was left was seeing her 2 youngest children heading out.

"Kate? Duncan? You 2 almost ready?", she knocked on the door to hear muffled shouting.

Fanny opened the door to Kate and Duncan's shared room, only to find her 2 youngest on their bunk bed, 2 bags opened beside them and only filled halfway, fighting. Again.

"Kate it's mine!" Duncan cried out, trying to pull a green Rainbow Monkey away from her grasp by an arm. The brunette only tugged at the other arm harder of it,

"If it was yours it would stink! And it doesn't, so give it up!"

"It does not stink!"

"It wouldn't if you would let mom wash it!"

"I don't like to bathe, so why should it have to?"

"It's not yours, it's mine! Now let it go!"

"Never!" He cried back, and yanked on the arm as hard as he possibly could, and Kate did the same, resulting in what sounded like a tear.

And what a tear it was, as the entire left arm was torn off. Duncan was holding the arm while Kate was holding the rest of the plush toy. Tears started to swell up in Duncan's eyes behind his glasses as he stared down at the stuffed arm he held.

"You...You..You broke it!," he then looked up at Kate in anger, tears starting to stream down his face. "MOM!", he shouted to the doorway, only to find Fanny already there. She was tapping her foot with her arms crossed, clearly not happy. But, for once, instead of yelling she just sighed,

"Leave the Rainbow Monkey here and when we get back I'll try and fix it,"

"But Kate was the one who destroyed it! Yell! Punish her!", Duncan shouted in between sniffs, pointing his finger to Kate.

"ME? You're the one who didn't let of MY toy!"

"It wasn't yours! It was mine! It has my initial under its foot. Just look!"

Kate looked down at the monkey's left foot, only to find scribbled on it a faded "D".

"Oh. It IS yours", she said as she looked up to Duncan, who was still angrily crying. "Uhh...oops?"

"Really, Kate?" Her mother wondered, really close to yelling. Kate winced and sighed before her mother yelled, "Apologize!"

"... Sorry," She mumbled.

"Good. Now that we have that taken care of, why aren't you two packed yet?", Fanny asked them, pointing to their half empty bags.

"Um…"

"Um is not a good answer," She said impatiently, "You both better be packed in less than ten minutes,"

"Yes mom", the two immediately answered as they started to stuff clothes into their bags, putting the Rainbow Monkey and its arm onto the bottom bunk.

In a couple of minutes, Kate and Duncan both started to head out with their bags in tow, Duncan carrying a green one-armed Rainbow Monkey alongside him.

"Ow, Kate!" PJ shouted to his younger sister, running towards the door in front of them.

"What?" The brunette girl asked, not even bothering to stop.

"You hit me with your bag," He answered,

"Oops," Kate shouted back as she headed outside towards the car. Suddenly Ginger walked behind PJ with a mischievous smile and purposefully hit him with her bag, practically knocking him over.

"Ow! Ginger!" The black haired boy exclaimed annoyedly,

"Oops", she said sarcastically, the mischievous smile still spread across her face. She began to head outside until her younger brother retaliated by hitting her with his own bag. When she turned to glare at him he only shrugged,

"Oops,"

One thing led to another and It wasn't long before the two began to fight, hitting each other with their bags. The two continued to fight until Fanny walked inside and saw them, all she had to do was glare at them as PJ and Ginger abruptly stopped and began to stand up,

"Uh…", PJ started to say before he was jabbed in the ribs by Ginger, signaling him to shut up.

"Get in the car." Fanny commanded.

"Yes mom," PJ said, picking up his bag as Ginger did the same thing,

"Be right there," The two then rushed out the door with their bags and got into the car.

Finally, everyone was loaded up, buckled up, and ready to go… Almost. Fanny looked at her children through the rear view mirror and asked, "Are we ready to go?"

"Yep!" Kate said enthusiastically, digging through her small bag that she kept in the seat with her.

"Mhm" Ginger groaned, tired out from chasing the insect around their home.

"Yeah," PJ answered, adjusting the seat belt so that he was more comfortable. Scarlet shifted and hesitantly spoke up, knowing that she should definitely say something before they left the neighborhood,

"Wait- I gotta pee," She said, making _everyone_ in the car roll their eyes and groan simultaneously, except her father- who had to do the exact same thing.

"Of course you do," PJ groaned, "When _don't_ you have to pee?!" He cried out making his eldest sister roll her eyes.

"Didn't I say no drinks?" Fanny wondered aloud making Patton and Scarlet share guilty glances.

 **THIRTY MINUTES EARLIER**

Patton walked into the kitchen, checking to make sure Fanny had grabbed the snack bag, but instead of finding that, he found his eldest daughter, downing a large pitcher of water, "Scarlet, what are you doing?" She jerked the pitcher away from her mouth, as some of the liquid was dripping down her chin.

"Nothing,"

"Is that water?" He asked, even though he knew what it was. The black haired girl looked at the pitcher in her hands then back to her father,

"...Maybe," He reached his arm out towards her,

"Give me some,"

 **BACK IN THE CAR**

"Well you _said_ it. I just chose not to listen," Scarlet said making Fanny groan and look towards her husband,

"What about you?" He looked down and answered,

"I...might have had a little bit of water before-"

"A little? You practically finished off the other half!" Scarlet exclaimed, interrupting him. The dark haired man turned around,

"Scarlet, come on,"

"I am _not_ taking all the blame for something you did!" She exclaimed, pointing towards him.

"I did?! How is this MY fault?" He wondered making Scarlet raise her dark eyebrows,

If it wasn't for your tiny bladder, I wouldn't have a tiny bladder and we wouldn't have to constantly stop for bathroom breaks!"

"If you didn't get the water out in the first place we wouldn't be here!" He argued back, making his wife roll his eyes and turn around, and end the argument.

"You both have exactly one minute to go into the house, use the bathroom, and come back out- do you understand?"

"Yes, Dear," Patton said, getting out of the car and bolting to the front door, while Scarlet still sat in her seat,

"Mom, I don't think I can go that fast," The black haired girl said while her mother took a deep breath,

"Well now you only have fifty-seven seconds," Fanny said, looking at her through the rearview mirror,

"I'm going, I'm going!" Scarlet said, getting out of the car and running towards the door, that her father left open for her. The only brunette Drinovsky began digging through her bag before pulling out a camera and turning it around to face herself,

"Day one of the most dreaded, demanding, task of the year. The Drilovsky family road trip," She spoke before Duncan rolled his eyes and spoke up,

"Shut up, Kate"

"Ah, yes. The insults begin," Kate began with a fake smile that turned to glare towards her brother,

"Kate, turn that off!" Ginger exclaimed turning to face her younger sister,

"No! My viewers love seeing you crazy people for some reason. They find it amusing. So the camera's staying," She said, turning the camera towards her siblings, which made them all cover their faces. Elliot spoke up behind his hand,

"What viewers? Mom made you close the account weeks ago after the feces incident," He pointed out making Kate shake her head,

"I meant the viewers I'll have in the future, when I'm famous and successful, unlike all of you,"

"Hey, I'm gonna be famous too. Trust me, this face is gonna be on TV. It belongs there." PJ boasted while smiling, Ginger scoffed,

"Only on America's Dumbest, it would," She muttered, making a few of her siblings chuckle and PJ roll his eyes and sarcastically say,

"Ha ha, so funny," He rolled his dark brown eyes. The younger redhead Drilovsky girl who had been focused on counting spoke up,

"They only have twelve seconds left,"

"Oh, I bet Scarlet will make it, Dad won't," Ginger said, leaning forward to look out the windshield,

"But Dad pees faster," PJ pointed out,

"Dad's also old and slow," Duncan responded, Fanny decided it was best to ignore the comment about him being old, especially since her and her husband were the same age.

"Mom, if Dad doesn't make it, can I have shotgun?" Ginger asked, just as her father got back into the car,

"No!" He shouted making the auburn haired girl sigh,

"Darn it,"

"I don't get why we can't take turns with shotgun," PJ said, making Patton turn around,

"Because I'm the parent, I get shotgun," He answered as Ginger furrowed her eyebrows,

"But you never called it," She pointed out,

"I don't have to call it," He responded, as the other red headed girl, who was still counting spoke up again,

"5 seconds," Morgan said, while her older siblings were still arguing with their dad,

"But it's only fair," PJ whined,

"Not for the parents. We get special privileges," Patton smiled smugly making his children glare at him,

"1 and a half seconds," Morgan spoke up again, just as her older sister leapt into the car,

"Wait! I'm here!" She exclaimed, buckling her seat belt.

"You _barely_ made it," Duncan said, making Scarlet roll her eyes,

"I still made it, though," She argued back,

"But still- barely," He pointed out, making his older sister turn around and glare,

"Shut up," She snapped.

"Anybody _else_ need to go?", Fanny interrupted the fight to glare back to her children

"Nope", they all started to shake their heads vigorously.

"Good. Let's hit the road", and they start to back out of the driveway onto the street. As they started to drive, Kate pulled back out her camera and started to talk into it.

"So, the true start of day 1 on the dreaded, weary, needy week-long Drilovsky vacation."

"Stuff a sock in it, Kate", Duncan told her.

"Hey! I need to document this stuff! The internet will thrive on it… once Mom unblocks youtube,"

"Gimme that camera!" Ginger snatched the camera out of Kate's hands to the back seats behind her.

"Aww", Kate then slouched and sulked in her seat in disappointment.

There was around 5 minutes of silence, with the exception of Ginger starting to snore and doze off, as they started to head on the highway

"Mom can we maybe make a quick pit stop at the Beatles?" Scarlet hesitantly asked as her mother visibly rolled her eyes,

"You have to pee again, don't you?" Scarlet nodded and added,

"I drank _a lot_ of water,"

"Ugh" Fanny groaned and slammed her head down on the steering wheel, before looking back up at the road ahead of them. Patton then quietly asked,

"Can you?" The redheaded woman looked towards her husband,

" _Et tu,_ Patton?"

"...Yeah" Fanny groaned once again before sighing,

"You two are impossible,"

"Hey! Don't take this out on me! I didn't ask for _his_ cruddy genetics," Scarlet exclaimed defensively, while pointing towards her father.

"Me neither, Fan. You _know_ it's a family trait," He added, looking over towards his wife. Fanny only rolled her green eyes and continued driving, but not without grumbling angrily about 'stupid genetics', 'cruddy bladders', and 'why doesn't anyone listen to me?'. Scarlet bit down on her lip and hesitantly spoke up,

"... We're gonna stop, right?"

"YES WE'RE GOING TO STOP!" Fanny shouted, making all of the children and Patton cringe a little.

"Thank you, Mom," Scarlet said, making Fanny roll her eyes once again,

"Yeah, yeah, just be happy that I pity you and tiny bladder,"

* * *

 **Hope you liked it and please leave your thoughts. Reviews are always appreciated : )**


	2. 10 Hours Later

**For the sake of your sanity (and for the sake of ours), we have mercifully skipped 10 of the 17 hours of driving, fighting, hitting, and god knows what else.**

 **Comment shout-out**

 **Guest: Aw, thank you, i hope you do. Yeah, Fanny means well, but sometimes it gets tough.**

 **Enjoy : )**

* * *

 **Chapter 2**

 **10 Hours Later**

* * *

The Drilovskys were on their way to the beach, their summer vacation spot for the next few days. Fanny was driving and Patton sitting in the passenger beside her.

Behind them sat their children in 3 rows. In the front sat PJ and Scarlet, the middle Ginger, Elliott, and Morgan, and in the back, with a seat in-between them, sat Kate and Duncan.

For the most part, it was a rare quiet moment through the past 10 hours. However, that silence ended as a bee flew through Morgan's window.

"A BEE FLEW THROUGH THE WINDOW!" Elliott suddenly screamed and started to cower in his seat.

"Ah, sweet, what kind?", Morgan asked in interest as the bee flew around her head.

"NOT NOW MORGAN, KILL IT PJ,", Elliott exclaimed in fright to his older brother.

"Why should I? Bees don't bother me. Except the Jerry Seinfeld kind", PJ told him as he read a magazine.

Elliott leaned back to PJ and shouted into his older siblings' ears, "JUST KILL IT!"

"Alright!", PJ agreed and looked up find the bee and pushed his hand forward to smack it. Instead he just smacked Ginger as the bee flew off.

"Hey!", Ginger shouted as she rubbed the side of her head. "What the crud was that for?!"

"Yeah. He wasn't bothering anyone,", Morgan agreed as PJ scowled and went back to reading.

"SPEAK FOR YOURSELF CRAZY NATURE LADY", Elliott argued, momentarily peeking out through his hat and asked PJ, "Did you kill it?"

"Trust me. Something's about to be killed all right", Ginger remarked as she rolled up her sweater sleeve, but was interrupted by Fanny shouting from the front.

"Kids, now is not the time to argue,"

"Yeah, go to sleep or something,", Patton concurred.

"How am I supposed to sleep with her BRINGING BUGS INTO THE CAR?!", Elliott asked as he saw the bee continue to fly around before ducking back into his hoodie and hat.

"I didn't bring the bee, the bee came to me.", Morgan said as she looked around, the bee appearing to have vanished.

"Well Ellie you should've thought better than to sit next to the living bug magnet.", Duncan shouted to Elliott from the back.

"Shut up duncan!", Elliott shouted back to his younger brother.

"Consider yourself lucky, Ellie", Kate said from behind. "It's not exactly easy riding sitting next to the living stink magnet."

"What's that supposed to mean?", Duncan asked as he turned angrily to face Kate.

"It means I can't sleep with a huge gust of your stench straight in my face!", Kate said louder and in a mocking tone.

"I'm not the one who smells!", Duncan argued.

"Uh, dude, yeah ya are", Kate said. "Try using some deodorant bro,"

"Yeah, cause you're really one to talk, ms. I-haven't-bathed-in-23-days"

"Hey! That's not true!", Kate shouted indignantly.

"Mom! Are we there yet?", PJ asked as he put in headphones.

"No!", Fanny answered. "We still have 7 more hours to go. 7...long...LONG hours"

"Don't worry Fanny," Patton reassured her. "We already went through 10 hours of this, we can survive 7 more. We can do this"

"AAAH! THE BEE! IT'S BACK!", the 2 parents heard their son scream. Fanny slouched a little and groaned.

"We can do this", Patton repeated to his wife before quietly adding to himself, "I hope"

"IT'S COMING TO ME! GET IT AWAY! PJ, SAVE ME!", Elliott shouted to his older brother as the bee started to buzz around once more. PJ, who was now wearing headphones, just ignored Elliott and continued reading.

"Oh please Dunc", Kate continued. "You couldn't recognize a good smell if it was right under your nose. Oh wait, that's because there never is one"

What do you think I am, blind? Of COURSE I can tell a good smell if I noticed one", Duncan said as Kate's laughed.

"Dang, Dunc. You got wrecked!", she said. Duncan looked confused for a moment before he realized what he just said.

"Hey!", he shouted to his laughing sister. Instead of trying to fight her, he just pouted and looked away, back towards his Rainbow Monkey, which now had a seamed-up arm.

"THE BEE, THE BEE", Elliott shouted as if to remind his siblings of the bee that was still flying around.

"Relax, it just wants a place to chill," Morgan stated happily as the bee landed on her raccoon hat.

"It wants a VICTIM TO KILL"

"That's a tad overdramatic"

"PJ! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SAVE ME!"

However Elliott's screams were on faint ears as PJ just continued listening to music through headphones.

"GINGER! SAVE ME!", Elliott shouted in desperation. Ginger thought for a moment, until she smiled and looked over at Elliott with a devilish grin.

"Alright, but you have to play a little game with me first,"

"Anything", Elliott pleaded.

"It's called A Punch for a Word. Basically, anytime somebody says something, i get to punch you."

Elliott gulped as he heard the arguing of PJ, Kate, and Duncan, who clearly weren't going to seize anytime soon. He looked up wide-eyed to Ginger, who was cracking her knuckles and grabbed

They hear all the other siblings talking to each other as Ginger starts to crack her knuckles and asked, "Isn't this such a great game?"

"OW! OW! OW!", Elliott said as Ginger kept punching him in the stomach. "OK, OK! JUST GET RID OF THE BEE!"

"No, don't! It just wants a place to stay and rest", Morgan shouted in protest.

"Well it can't rest here! OW! HEY!"

"Sorry, game rules", Ginger said before she continued punching.

"JUST KILL IT"

"Ginger's not killing it! Nobody is!", Morgan stated as the bee began to fly towards the front.

"OUCH OW OUCH!"

As Elliott kept getting hit, there was suddenly a loud smack heard in the car. Morgan looked up ahead near Scarlet's seat to find on the window a smashed insect.

"There it's dead now shut the heck up!", Scarlet said to Elliott as she wiped off her hands.

"Scarlet, it was a harmless insect,", Morgan complained.

"Yeah well listening to Elliot scream wasn't harmless to my EARS", Scarlet shouted back to Morgan.

"OW! OW! WOULD YOU STOP THAT? The bees dead!"

"Nope. I haven't killed a bee yet, meaning you still owe me", Ginger said as she still continued punching.

"Mom! Are we there now?", Kate asked in annoyance.

"No Kate! It has only been 5 minutes"

"But the bees already dead! OW!", Elliott said to Ginger. "That's not fair! OW!"

"Neither is life, Ellie",

"It's Elliott! OW!"

"Hey Dad?", Scarlet asked to Patton up front.

"What Scarlet?"

"I gotta pee"

"We JUST passed a rest stop!", Fanny shouted in annoyance.

"GINGER STOP PUNCHING ME"

"Find a bee for me to kill and I will,", Ginger reasoned.

"OW!"

"I tried to say something but it's hard to say anything past Elliott's screaming!", Scarlet said to Fanny.

"OW! OW!"

"Can't you guys please do something together?", Patton asked to his children.

PJ looked up from his magazine to see Scarlet, who had started to breathe impatiently and crossed her legs. He then smiled evilly and took his headphones off from his ears.

"I have an idea!", he said as he smiled.

"I'm out", Morgan said as she leaned on the window. "It's one of PJ's ideas, so those are never a good thing"

"Ahem", PJ cleared his throat and began to sing very loudly, and very off-key. "100 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL, 100 BOTTLES OF BEER"

"Do you have to sing that?", Fanny asked as she winced.

"Depends", PJ answered. He turned to Scarlet beside him. "Scarlet, do you still have to pee?"

"Yes", she answered.

"Then yes. I do", PJ decided and continued singing. "TAKE ONE DOWN, PASS IT AROUND"

"Stop.. SHUT UP!", Scarlet shouted to her brother.

"OW!"

"99 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL, 99 BOTTLES OF BEER"

"Are we there NOW?", Kate asked.

"OW! OW! STOP!"

"No bee, no break kid"

"MORGAN! SAVE ME!"

"And let you guys potentially hurt another harmless insect? I don't think so."

"7 more hours,", Patton tiredly said out loud.

"I don't think I can do it,", Fanny admitted to Patton.

"Oh please, you've gone through like 100 hours of labor, you can totally do this,", Patton reassured in a tone of amazement.

"That was less painful", Fanny groaned.

"TAKE ONE DOWN, PASS IT AROUND", PJ continued to sing as he leaned into Scarlet's ear

"98 SLOSHING WATERY FLOWING SPLASHING COMPLETELY FILLED TO THE TOP BRIM BOTTLES OF-"

"Alright, now you're just asking for it!", Scarlet interrupted angrily.

"It's PJ. Isn't he always?", Ginger commented.

"-EXTREMELY WATERY QUENCHY LOQUIDY BEEER ON THE WALL!"

"PJ! Do you want me to pee in this car?", Scarlet said as she leaned into PJ's face.

"You wouldn't dare", PJ told her mockingly.

"Try me"

"SCARLET IF YOU PEE IN THIS CAR I'M KICKING YOU OUT OF THE HOUSE"

"Ooh, mom you tempt me-", Scarlet said smirking. "but these are my favorite pair of jeans,"

"Ok then. 98 MAXIMUM FILLED NEARLY BURSTING OUT THE TOP BOTTLES OF BEER ON-

"You know what?" Scarlet said as she glared at PJ. "Maybe i should just pee all over YOU instead!", she stated as she pointed to her brother beside her.

"I think I'll take my chances on getting kicked out"

"Aww. You'd really do that all for me?"

"ESPECIALLY for you"

As the 2 oldest fought in the front, Ginger was still punching Elliott behind them.

"GINGER IF YOU PUNCH ME AGAIN I'LL-", Elliott said in-between punches.

"YOU'LL WHAT?", Ginger said smirking.

"YOU DON'T WANNA KNOW WHAT I'LL DO"

"What COULD you possibly do?", Ginger said in a tempting voice.

"To be honest...," Elliott said slowly "with all that stomach punching and the shaky car ride…", he started to turn a little green, "I don't really feel so good"

Ginger was confused for a moment but turned wide-eyed as Elliott started to queasily shake. "YOU'RE NOT!"

"Could this possibly get any worse?", Patton asked in the front.

BRAAUGH!

Patton and Fanny suddenly heard a loud wrenching sound and Ginger scream.

"EWWW! MOM! Elliott just puked on me!"

Fanny then glared slowly over to Patton and said, through clenched teeth, "You had to ask".

"Ew that smells worse than Duncan!", Kate said as she held her nose.

"Oh, don't you even start Kate!"

"What are you gonna do about it, stink-boy?"

In response, the 2 started to get into a slap fight as they insulted each other. Ginger stared in disgust at her shirt, which was now covered by a large yellowish glob.

"Elliot that's gross,", Morgan said as she leaned towards the window.

"It's Ginger's fault!", he argued and pointed to Ginger.

"He agreed to play the game!", Ginger said defensively.

"You said you were gonna kill the bee", Elliott glared at her.

"What? I'm not allowed to have a little fun first?"

"The bee's been dead for 10 minutes,", Elliott continued.

"So I have fun before and after,", Ginger said.

"You want fun?", PJ interjected "You could join me in singing about the other 97 bottles of-"

"Forget it, PJ!", Ginger said, silencing him.

"Dad, I still have to pee!", scarlet shouted, now visibly fidgeting in her seat.

"97 BOTTLES OF FLOWING DRIPPING WATER-"

"PJ. SHUT. UP", Scarlet shouted.

"Hey Scarlet", PJ stopped singing to talk. "If you have to go so bad, maybe you could go in one of the 3 empty beer bottles on the ground. Well, soon to be 4 since there's now 96 BOTTLES OF RUSHING AND GUSHING-"

"DAD!"

"Ow!", Ginger suddenly yelped. "Something bit me!"

"Cool!", Morgan said as she looked towards Ginger. "Ginger, the vomit on you starting to attract a group of flying ants"

"FLYING ANTS?!", Elliott suddenly shrieked.

"Oh, boy...", Fanny grumbled.

"Dad! I'm gonna pee if we don't stop like right now", Scarlet shouted as she rocked back and forth.

"No you're not!", Ginger told her older sister. "We have enough nasty smells in here besides the vomit and Duncan!"

"I USE DEODORANT", Duncan shouted, the first time he talked since his and Kate's argument.

"not enough obviously", Kate commented.

"You take that back!", Duncan turned to angrily face Kate.

"Morgan! Get these bugs away!", Elliott screamed as he swatted ants.

"No, they're cute", Morgan said as the ants snuggled into her scarf.

"I DON'T CARE! I WANT THEM OUT!"

"But Ellie you're the one who brought them here in the first place", Morgan said.

"The pukes starting to soak into me, MORGAN GET THE BUGS OFF OF ME!", Ginger shouted in irritation.

"Gladly!", Elliott said as he swatted the ants around the 2 of them.

"NO!"

"Come on, they're harmless!"

"Duncan's smell isn't!", Kate said snickering.

"KATE SHUT UP", Duncan shouted.

"Could you kids PLEASE calm down?!", Patton asked in annoyance.

"Yeah", PJ agreed. "Dad's right, this is getting ridiculous."

Patton sat there, momentarily shocked at what his oldest son had said. "Uh..thanks PJ"

"You're welcome", PJ said to Patton before directing his attention back to his siblings. "And think about it. Maybe we can see stuff to occupy ourselves"

He started leaning in closer to Scarlet as he continued.

"Like maybe, geysers, and rivers, and waterfalls pushing down thousands upon thousands of gallons of water"

"I should've known it was too good to be true", Patton grumbled as he facepalmed.

"PJ SHUT UP!"

"Whooshing water, drip drip drip,", PJ continued teasing.

"That's the sound of the shower that we wish Duncan would take,", Kate joked.

"Kate back off!", Duncan said as he pushed Kate and turned away.

"JUST GET THE BUGS AWAY!"

"Then you shouldn't have puked. You ruined my favorite shirt!", Ginger shouted to Elliott.

"A rushing stream, trickling down, splashing into a huge filled lake", PJ continued.

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU!", Scarlet shouted as he took her hands out, in a motion to strangle her brother.

"Why'd you have to puke on me?", Ginger asked angrily.

"IT'S YOUR FAULT I PUKED", Elliott shouted to Ginger.

"You should've puked on morgan, she would've loved to be covered in bugs", Ginger said as she gestured to Morgan, who was now smiling as ants surrounded her.

"I'm sorry I can't control where I VOMIT!"

"Hey! look out the window! A rushing river!"

"Besides if you hadn't kept punching me-"

"It's your fault for agreeing to play the game"

"How was i supposed to know you were gonna do that?!"

"Because I'm Ginger."

"She's right, you should've known,"

"I didn't ask for your opinion Duncan!"

"Just sayin'"

"Hey look Scarlet! We're gonna get on a bridge! Look at it! Surrounded by water EVERYWHERE"  
"DAAAD!"

"KIDS STOP"

"Woah, there's no need to yell,"

"Yeah seriously, chill out,"

"We're just kids, you don't gotta yell,"

"Then you kids shut up and cut it out or I WILL TURN THIS CAR AROUND AND WE WILL HEAD STRAIGHT HOME!"

"Y-Yes mom"

There was a moment of awkward silence before Patton spoke up.

"Hey Fanny, can you stop?"

"Why", she asked as she slowly looked to her husband.

"Because now I have to pee", he shyly answered.

"PATTON!"

"THANK GOD, THANK YOU DAD!", Scarlet said as she leaned forward to hug him by the neck.

"Next time we're flying, I don't care how expensive the tickets are!"

"Wait", Patton asked. "I thought we were banned from the airlines?"

"There are many other airlines we can get banned from,", Ginger commented.

Yeah", PJ agreed. "Remember when we took that flight to Ireland?"

"Of course I remember that. PJ and Ginger knocked that lady right out of her seat", Fanny answered.

"She shouldn't have been sitting there" Ginger said defensively.

"And you 2 shouldn't have tried to toss around a football", Fanny continued to Ginger.

"We were bored", PJ said.

"It's not our fault-", Ginger agreed. "We're kids we need to be entertained".

"Listen to music or something", Fanny told them. "Don't throw a football on a PLANE!"

"And there she goes again with the yelling,", Ginger said.

"AND WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?"

While Ginger and Fanny, continued to argue, in the back Duncan sat, silently hugging his Rainbow Monkey, his eyes closed. He opened one of his eyes and saw Kate starting to drift off beside her. He was about to close his eye again until he saw a ant fly around and land on Kate's arm. He let go of the Rainbow Monkey, leaned over to Kate and suddenly smacked Kate's arm, squishing the ant and jolting Kate up in her seat.

"OW!", Kate shouted as she rubbed her arm and turned to Duncan. "You hit me!"

"You had a bug on you", Duncan told her.

"There's still bugs here?! MORGAN!", Elliott jolted and leaned into Morgan, sending the bugs everywhere around the car.

"You liar", Kate said. She then smacked Duncan's arm in anger. He rubbed his arm in pain, and smacked her back. It wasn't too long before the 2 youngest got engaged in a slap war.

"IS THE BUG GONE?!", Elliott asked in fright as he cowered with his eyes closed.

"I don't know why you're so scared," Morgan told him as he clung onto her scarf. "Bugs are harmless".

"Yeah if you consider poisonous demons from the underworld 'harmless'"

"It's just a bug, you scaredy cat!", Morgan told him.

Elliott opened his eyes and looked at his younger sister, still clinging onto her scarf and told her furiously. "I am not a scaredy cat!"

"Are too", she said happily.

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

"Are we almost at a rest stop?"

"Patton, seriously?!", Fanny said to her husband.

"I've gotta pee!", he said with his own legs crossed as well.

PJ looked over at his fidgeting sister and father. He then took out 2 sodas that were from lunch earlier and dumped the remaining contents out of the window, leaving empty styrofoam cups.

"Here dad, Scarlet", he said. "You guys could go in these"

"Eww, gross!", Scarlet leaned away from PJ in disgust. "I'm not going in that!"

"Of course you can, it's a cup", PJ said obliviously. "I mean if it was a bottle, I could understand since you're a girl and all", PJ was suddenly interrupted as he felt Scarlet's hand slap across his face. "OW!"

"You're disgusting!", she said.

"If you had to pee THAT bad you'd do it in the cup,"

"No PJ, that's gross!"

"Actually, Ginger's shirt and Duncan's body odor is gross,"

Duncan stopped fighting with Kate for a minute to face his older brother. "Hey! Do we have to go back to that?"

"Hey, it's not my fault. Just suck it up and face the music, bro"

Duncan was about to talk before he got hit in the face again, almost knocking off his glasses. "OW!"

"Gotcha!", Kate said in victory before Duncan looked back to her and the 2 resumed fighting.

"Are we there yet?", Scarlet asked as she fidgeted faster.

"Yep", Fanny said. "Go ahead and get out,"

Scarlet looked out the window and only saw a bunch of trees zooming by. "But we're still moving,"

"So are we there?"

"Um... no".

"Exactly! Now stop asking"

"ARE NOT! ARE NOT! ARE NOT!", Elliott shouted.

"ARE TOO INFINITY!", Morgan said as she blew him a raspberry.

"JUST GET RID OF THE STUPID BUGS ALREADY!"

"Stop hitting me!", Duncan said as Kate held him a noogie.

"You started it", Kate said defiantly.

"I was trying to be a good little brother"

"C'mon sis. You can pee and we'll all just not look. We're not here to judge, but I'm probably gonna do it anyway", Ginger told Scarlet while smirking.

"Shut up Ginger!"

"FANNY I HAVE TO PEE", Patton shouted in desperation.

"Patton, the next rest stop is fifteen miles away,"

"DRIVE FASTER, WOMAN!"

He sat there for a minute before reaching his arm back to where'd Scarlet and PJ were.

"PJ, pass me one of those cups!"

"DON'T YOU DARE, PATTON!", Fanny shouted in a mix of anger and disgust.

"FINE THEN PULL OVER ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD AND I'LL PEE THERE", he said pointing to the roadside beside Fanny's side.

"Patton just HOLD it!", she told him.

"I'VE BEEN HOLDING IT FOR AN HOUR, MOM", Scarlet shouted leaning in front. "DRIVE FASTER!"

Eventually this led to everyone but Fanny screaming at each other at the top of their lungs.

"JUST GET RID OF THE BUG!"

"YOUR JUST BEING A WIMP SCARLET!"

"NOT UNTIL YOU APOLOGIZE!"

"I'M GONNA EXPLODE, MOM!"

"GREAT! NOW THIS SHIRT'S RUINED!"

"LET GO OF ME!"

"I'M NOT APOLOGIZING TO A BUG!"

"I MEAN, I'VE DONE IT BEFORE!"

"YEAH, SO HAVE I"

"GET MY FACE OUT OF YOUR SMELLY ARMPIT!"

"FINE! THEN I'LL BRING IN A BUNCH OF MORE BUGS!"

"FANNY! CAN'T YOU DRIVE ANY FASTER?!"

"NO! I TRIED TO BE NICE, BUT I'M TIRED OF IT"

"YOU 2 ARE DISGUSTING!"

"NOO! I DON'T WANT ANYMORE BUGS!"

"NICE?! YOU PUNCHED ME!"

"THERE WAS A BUG ON YOUR ARM!"

"YOU LIAR"

"MOM!"

"FANNY!"

And Fanny Drilovsky, who had managed to keep quiet during the discord, finally snapped.

"ENOUGH!"

She roughly hit the brakes as he turned off to the roadside as the car screeched to a halt, harshly forcing the kids forward from their seats.

She then angrily turned around to her children. The 7 kids all suddenly stopped fighting and quickly sat back down in their children as they looked down, avoiding eye contact with their mother. She then started to shout them quick commands.

"DUNCAN! KATE! STOP FIGHTING!"

"But he started it!", Kate said as she pointed over to Duncan.

"I don't care who started it. I'LL FINISH IT! ELLIOT! Apologize!"

"Sorry Morgan, and icky bug"

"MORGAN! Get those bugs out of here!

"Guys! Go home", and at Morgan's command, all the bugs that were left flew out the window.

"GINGER! PJ! STOP ANNOYING EVERYBODY!"

"I don't know if that's possible mom", Ginger said as she looked up. However, what she found was the deadliest glare she had ever seen from anybody in her life.

"Then again, I'm sure I can find a way", Ginger said quickly as she looked back down.

"I thought so.", Fanny turned to face her oldest and her husband.

SCARLET! PATTON! IT IS 15 MILES TO THE REST STOP! YOU 2 EITHER SIT THERE AND HOLD IT OR GET OUT AND WALK THE 10 HOURS HOME!"

"Yes mom" "Yes dear", Scarlet and Patton simultaneously replied.

Good. Now, I want complete silence for the next 10 minutes so everyone's gonna shut up or so help me I will ground you all for a month! UNDERSTAND?!"

Patton and the kids all nodded vigorously as they kept their mouths shut.

"Good", and with that all said, Fanny turned back to the front and resumed driving as the family sat there in silence.

Throughout the next 10 minutes all Fanny could thinking was "whoever said it was better to travel that to arrive should've been kicked out into the street and shot"

And all that Patton could think was "Man, if i wasn't potentially in trouble, i would SO kiss her right now"

* * *

 **I feel for Elliott here. I hate bees too.**

 **Also, flying ants DO exist. I did not make them up.**

 **Hope you liked this chapter and leave your thoughts. Reviews are always appreciated : )**


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